People i knew back then has either grow to another person, polished, physically and intellectually fit, and some just progressing slow or remains the same. Taking a glance to the past made me smile, how fast things were, back then when i'm still small i would really wanted to grow fast and become an adult. And irony of what i felt now of thinking, not nice it would be to be that innocence little girl that knows nothing but braveness and honesty. **Remembering how did i manage to held up a pencil with my shaking, little fingers back then in kinder garden, patiently solving tough mathematical problems in primary school, trying to understand history and metaphysical component that gives spice to life bit here and there, and do some artwork that i loved so much! :)
SubhanAllah Allah gives the opportunity for me to stop, sit back, think and evaluate - who i was, what has happened that change me into who i am now, my thoughts on life, how to approach life better in the next stage of life. As some others that i know, have been chosen to a delight call, have return in peace to Allah the Creator.
Back then in January, i have been nervous thinking that i'll be stepping into the age of 25. The challenge that might come across, as i believe life is going to be tougher by time, so face it and grow healthily as an adult! Being 25 means, you are no longer an acceptable playful child that you made up decision based on the present-oriented. Its more of a long term investment and deep though of the consequence of things that you made might result to. Its deeper than anything we might think of. But one thing i found along the way is that, we, only give the opportunity to our self to drive and learn, giving much attention to our growth during the adolescence, as we tend to forget that, as long as we live, we're still growing, like plants, animals- Adulthood, are still as important as the childhood and teenage era we had 25 years back. How do we go about choosing the ideal way of life, is more than just sitting back and see how it goes, a more passionate answer needed to raise up high-spirited person long term. This is also when maturity comes into place, that a deeper thought to be given to a situation that how from the decision made, will somehow not only effects you, but to the people surround you.
I had receive a very meaningful text from a friend praying that, "for everything that you do, for every steps that you made, for every goodness you pay i prayed it'll be beneficial to those you love, those who is by your side, those who knows you directly and indirectly." (Munirah, 2012). I found it really meaningful that how soft those words touches me deep in that i've forgotten that i am an adult now, for what ever decision i made will always give an impact to the people surround me. Ie, my family, friends and aquaintance, etc.
As you might aware, childhood and youth allows you to explore on identity searching. I remembered back then in my high school i got nicknamed 'Japan' because I've been a Japanese drama hardcore that I've been learning 'Nihon-go' (Japanese) online since I cant affort to pay for a Japanese class. Allah knows how passionate i was back then, that when i want something i would definitely try my best to get what i wanted. And again in my previous university i was called 'Hijau', means 'Green' since I have this green-thing happening in my deepest memory. Only close friends know why Green has been a symbol of hope in life, that I should always remember to be grateful to Allah for the chances He gave me all this while in duniya. So yeah, back to identity searching, during childhood and youth we tend to find who we are, what ideally represents our soul and suits our mind the best. Knowing that, it was always the hardest time to grow, with the short-temper and the illogical thought that havent really grow up to see the consequences, it might result an individual to a disasterous life. As you step into adulthood, you might find that some of the identity you choose can still be remain, and some just doesn't suits you anymore. You become more clear of who you are, what and how you want people to view you as, you become more sensitive to the image that you bring. The mature thought has brought you back to thinking relevantly, dress appropriately and act decently. However, the mystery and beauty of life, leads me to curiously thinking of how you and i would evolve as a person, imagining who will i become 5, 10 or 20 years from now. I'm positive it'll be a very dynamic change.
I also do believe, as much as i had talked to myself, remembering and learning who i was, it is always important to review and refresh of these thoughts. Take a deep breath, try to memorize and evaluate what was there, what you've lost and gain, and how you would improve it better. 25, and its never too late :)
As this blog is 'lauched' to reinforce my thought on life, my current living and my growth of the future, I hope to fill it in with lots of new inspiring things that made life beautiful and filled with happiness, hoping a brighter future in understanding life as a person. Life is simply a beautiful thing to talk about, and knowing others is to harness you to a better person. As how i would love to grow beautifully, I hope to get support from every man i know through this little space of mine. Lets grow together and be a better man. May Allah bless.
NnsO
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